Bribe VS Reward

THERE IS A CLEAR AND DISTINCT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BRIBE AND A REWARD.

REWARDS ARE OKAY; BRIBES ARE NOT.


WHAT MAKES A BRIBE SO BAD: THE CHILD HAS TO BE BAD FIRST, BEFORE THEY RECEIVE THEIR REWARD.


A REWARD SYSTEM IS ACCEPTABLE BECAUSE THE BEHAVIOR AND THE REWARD ARE CLEARLY DESCRIBED BEFORE THE EVENT.


EXAMPLES:

BRIBE: YOUR CHILD IS WITH YOU IN THE GROCERY STORE AND ASKS IF HE CAN HAVE A CANDY BAR. YOU SAY NO, IT IS ALMOST LUNCHTIME. HE CRIES OR TAKES A TANTRUM, YOU ARE EMBARRASSED WITH PEOPLE STARING AT YOU; YOU GIVE IN AND GET THE CANDY BAR FOR HIM, SAYING, “AS LONG AS YOU ARE GOOD I WILL GET YOU THE CANDY BAR.” YOU CAN EASILY SEE THAT THIS WILL MAKE THE PROBLEM
WORSE. IT COULD BE A TOY, A BOOK, WHATEVER; IT DOESN’T MATTER.


REWARD SYSTEM: YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO THE GROCERY STORE WITH YOUR CHILD. YOU SAY TO HIM.“WHEN WE ARE AT THE STORE IF YOU STAY WITH ME
AND NOT GRAB THINGS OFF THE SHELVES, I WILL BUY YOU A BOOK THAT WE CAN READ LATER.” THE BEHAVIOR IS SPECIFIC, NOT JUST SAYING IF YOU ARE GOOD, AND THE REWARD IS CLEAR. [NOW THEY MIGHT TRY TO NEGOTIATE WITH YOU WHICH IS FINE.]


THIS CAN BE USED FOR COUNTLESS OCCASIONS; FROM GOING TO THE STORE, TO RELATIVES, THE LIBRARY. ACTUALLY, A GOOD REWARD IS YOUR TIME, THERE IS
NOTHING MORE VALUABLE TO A CHILD THAN YOUR TIME. YOU CAN PLAY A GAME, COOK, DO A PROJECT, READ A BOOK.

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